Design your life from the inside

Success is subjective, so commit to your own definition

Author

Enda Mac Nally
October 23, 2024 • Read it in: 5 minutes

Design your life from the inside

I once heard an interview with Bryan Cranston where he was explaining how he became an actor. He said when he was growing up, he thought maybe he’d become a police officer, but then realised at 16 that all the popular girls were in drama class, so he decided to become an actor.

He then joked that his entire life was decided by ‘the libido of a 16 year old boy’.

It’s worked out pretty well for him, so I’m not sure he has much to regret.

The truth in the story though, is that most of us set out the course of our lives without really understanding what will be involved. We choose a lane, and pursue it, and feel shame or failure when it doesn’t work out exactly as we had planned.

It takes nerve to change course and to let go of things when they’re not serving you, but we should probably expect it far more than we seem to.

I recently posted about an episode of the Danny Miranda Podcast that featured Kieran Drew. Kieran decided to become a dentist at age 16, with only experience of living in a small town, i.e.: before having any inner understanding of what was involved.

On how he figured out what he really wanted:

“…I do feel like you need a base level of self-awareness to understand […] that maybe the thing you are pursuing has been influenced by something else. Which is precisely what happened to me, you know?

I became a dentist. I decided that at 16. I’m from a working class village, and we were like- ‘dentists are always rich’, and there we go- 10 years of life making that happen. And being able to realise that success is subjective, right- you have an internal compass, and that determines how you feel.

I feel like working on that bit immediately is the big part. Because a lot of people make a lot of choices that make them miserable, […they’re] just not thinking of the second order consequences of what you decide.

You either learn that through a lot of self-reflecting, reading, thinking, listening to smart people… Alternatively, life forces that one you. You reach a boiling point in one thing and think ‘well this isn’t right’.

Both are good in the long run, if you choose to learn from it,”

Success is subjective, so don’t labour under someone else’s idea of it. There’s status (your life viewed from outside) and then there’s how you feel (how you experience it inside).

Commit to your own definition; design your life from the inside.

Good dialogue obscures to reveal

Ted Tally, screenwriter of ‘The Silence of The Lambs’ on how to write dialogue:

"What's important is not the emotion they're playing, but the emotion they're trying to conceal,"

Break the ice three times

Tim Ferriss has a great build on a typical ice-creaker. He offers people at events to share "a brag, a give and an ask”.

🏆 One big thing you’ve done, to show your credentials (no false-modesty).

🚑 One thing you can help people with.

🆘 And one thing you need help with.

This gives others multiple dimensions to latch on to and start conversations.

🎥 ‘Michael Clayton’ (2007) [FILM]
Great to revisit this. Tony Gilroy’s very best, IMO.

👀 Great intro to Figma tutorial [VIDEO]
A great introduction for anyone looking to get into design.

🎨 ‘How to Become a Writer’ by Lorrie Moore [SHORT STORY]
It’s either a short story disguised as writing advice, or writing advice disguised as a short story? I can’t tell. It’s very good though.

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